Throughout my life
The main fear among many
Was that I
Would lose control
And that my brain
Would be too far gone
To even recognize this
That fear still exists
As does my life
Yet this admission
Out loud
Only becomes a flaw
Vinegar for exploits
A wound ripe for picking
By those who want me
To bank up goodwill
To cash in
With gratitude
When all of this
Becomes routine enough
To survive me
And my fear


Malignant inoculum

Tired of repeating
The same variations on a theme
A horse made fluid
The same narrow eyepiece
Focusing on a piece of cardboard
Demanding recognition
For immaculate mediocrity
On uncertain terms
Poking organ deep, gently
As an experiment
And then looking upward
For a response
From stolid forms assumed tangible
To the question
“Why wasn’t I invited?”


Haha wow, how did that get there
And that too just as I was about to leave
Also, the door opened agape
Just as I was ready to scale the skeleton frame
Oh, my hands?
They just have a natural scent of baggage
No need to inspect the fingers-stub-palm red
Or the cement scars nailpolished with primer coats
The lock which has the logo of my willing face on it
The no-walls chic look
Please just let me be
The founder of my own gold bars
The conceptual walls of which
Compress me into comfort
Beyond my own material self
Smothered with the comfort
That only the soul will know escape


Lay dormant, the angular door frame with plasma crystal witchcraft displays
No assembly required, assuming ready-made status to begin with
Done is same to well begun to wink-nod blind watchmaker perfectionist
Can’t let you in just yet, though it is one with the universe
Because once you are let in, the illusion crumbles to sand
I can’t have that until draft contracts to sell to off world ocean shores
So until then just take in the genius design, perfect hermetic self cannibalization
Every atom re-construed, destroyed and recreated to your particular meaning
Until the credits or the world is consumed, whichever comes first
But before that happens, just drink in the tar through your PVC trachea
Eyes paved black, supine, last glimpse of lost plot, congrats you own property now